COLD IS A RELATIVE THING

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in North Dakota plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in North Dakota sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in North Dakota drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in North Dakota have the last cookout before it gets
cold.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
North Dakotans close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in North Dakota get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in North Dakota are selling cookies door to
door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in North Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
North Dakotans get upset because they can't start the
Snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in North Dakota start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.North Dakota public schools will open 2 hours late.